On Dying

I am back in Omaha now, to be with my family for the holidays and with my grandmother during what are probably her last days on earth. I experience this time with her as graced time, and it is a blessing to be able to be here. It is the same way I felt two years ago, when I was able to be with my grandfather as he was dying. My grandmother and I have had some great conversations about the meaning of life and death which are a comfort to both of us.

The dying give us a great gift which we may not be aware of, and that they also are not aware of. They invite us to be better than we are, to face our fears ofour own mortality, to set aside whatever "issues" we may have with them, and be present to them during the most vulnerable part of their lives.

In this context, I have been reflecting anew on the Mary-Martha story in Luke 10:38-42. I remember past scripture reflection groups, where people got upset about this passage, because Martha seems to be the one performing the most useful tasks, while Jesus claims that Mary has taken the better path. This scripture has been problematic for me for a different reason: because I identify most with Mary, who sits in the living room while her sister does all the dishes. Even though Jesus claims that Mary has chosen the better way, what is a Mary supposed to do with her life that is useful? And you cannot spend too much time sitting in the living room while someone else does all the work without getting people mad at you. Anyway, it seems that Mary's is a ministry of presence, which is how I experience being with my grandmother, and is also how I experience accompaniment work. In the end, ministry is fundamentally about presence. Yes, we have to get the dishes done, but Jesus understood that Mary had chosen the true path of ministry.